I haven’t been there. The trip hasn’t started. But part of me misses it already.
To quote Iris DeMent, “Just like they say nothing good ever lasts.”
I’m about to see Iris live for the first time. I’d argue, and I don’t think I’d get too much pushback for saying so, that Iris is one of the great folk songwriters of our time. It’ll be an absolute joy and privilege to hear her perform live.
And then there will be Nick Lowe—power pop icon. Show me a song that defines that genre better than “Cruel to Be Kind”! Maybe “Surrender” by Cheap Trick? Maybe “Just What I Needed” by The Cars? Music isn’t a competition, though! Listen to these songs and you’ll win every time!
And Jason Isbell! I first saw Jason Isbell performing at Chicago’s Northcenter neighborhood’s Ribfest, when people knew him as “that guy who used to be in Drive-By Truckers”. There were probably no more than a hundred people at the stage and it was a moment of pure musical awe hearing songs off of the album “Southeastern”, now a legendary Americana album, for the first time. Who the hell is this guy? Only one of the best songwriters of this generation, that’s who.
And then there’s bands I’ve come to love more recently—Ratboys, Horsegirl, Dry Cleaning.
And then there are bands I know little to nothing about, but I’m excited to hear and maybe even have an Isbell-Ribfest-Jaw-Drop moment with. One can hope.
And then there are art installations. And then there is mountain scenery. And then there are friends made through a shared love of a silly thing like a rock and roll band. But it’s not silly. The silly thing is the other stuff that life demands of us that doesn’t involve communing with art, music, and friends.
At the center of it all is Wilco. They are the curators of this utopian village of art, music, and togetherness known as Solid Sound Festival. In two days we’ll be there in North Adams, MA on the campus of MASS MoCA, ready to immerse ourselves in this world within a world. It’ll be my first Solid Sound, but something I’ve dreamed of for years. Anticipation is running high, but there’s still a lot of packing and travel ahead of us, which is okay because it prolongs the dream a little bit longer.
I say this because the dream of it will always be utopian perfection. The reality, I’m guessing, will be great, but there is a certain joy in prolonging the unadulterated version.
But that’s not why we’re going. Perfection is boring. Too predictable. The music I lean towards these days, in fact, is the music that surprises, challenges, and takes turns that no one could have anticipated. Throw expectation out the window and let the messy beauty wash over you. That’s the mantra I’m hoping to stick to for the festival. And that’s the mantra I’d like to stick to more when it comes to life in general—be present, be aware, be open hearted, be willing to sit with it all…even when it’s slightly uncomfortable, even when the cacophony of it all challenges the limits of my sensory processing abilities.
I do think it will be the closest I can ever get to living out a utopian dream. If the world was true to the imagined/desired version in my head, it would be a peaceful place where the creative impulse outweighs the destructive one. It would be a place where music is constant and the search for beauty and truth ongoing. It would be a communion of good souls, searchers, philosophers, mystic troublemakers, and those ready to listen and learn. It’s all pretty hippy-dippy, but it’s my dream, so whatever…I won’t apologize for it.
In my mind, it’s probably what they were going for with the original Woodstock Fest—three days of music, art, and good vibes, man. I don’t know how much of it actually went down the way people hoped for, but it was…something. It’s hard to know at this point what it really was because it has been mythologized and stereotyped and commercialized so much since then that the truth, if there actually is a singular truth, is hard to find.
One lesson from that generation in general, is that music and good vibes can’t really change the world. At least not in concrete immediate ways. I think it can change and affect us if we let it, but rock and roll, clearly, will not bring world peace. Music festivals will not bring utopia to the greater world. But for those that are affected by music and art in deep ways, they can be a home in the truest sense of the world—welcoming, warm, loving, inspiring, a place where you know you belong.
It’s all about finding the balance between the high expectations of anticipation and the acceptance of reality in its beautiful messiness. I think both can be true. I don’t want to oversell the experience to myself, but I also think it’s okay to acknowledge how meaningful it is to be able to go to this festival and to acknowledge that it likely will be really, really wonderful and to enjoy every moment while it lasts.
I’m overthinking it. That’s what I do. I just want to have a nice time with my girlfriend and my friends. Utopia or no utopia, that’s really what it comes down to. Good times, music, art, and not having to go to work for awhile. Sounds good to me. Life changing? World changing? Deeply profound? I don’t know. Maybe? At this point I just want to get through TSA, get on a plane, and go from there. Right now I’m a mix of stressed and overstimulated and I’m finding it hard trying maintain an attention span for longer than a couple of minutes. My brain is a swirling mix of thoughts and daydreams and I need to remember to breathe!
In…
Out…
Ok, I’m fine. I’m FINE!
I don’t think I could handle utopian life. I’d be willing to give it a go, but despite the optimism I try to cultivate, I have a pretty healthy sense of dread that follows me around too. I don’t particularly love that side of myself, but I accept it for what it is. I understand my weird brain better than I ever have. I know it’s best not to indulge in any given thought for too long. That’s where music helps. It’s like a dot on the wall that I can redirect my attention to as a reminder that the world still exists outside of my head. But it also says, don’t be too hard on your inner self. The mixed up, sensitive inner world is what allows me to feel the music the way I do after all. I just want it to pipe down every once in awhile. Shhhh! Please…just take it down a few notches. I’m trying to hear the music over the anxious chatter. Thanks. Love you.
Fenne Lily and Miracle Legion have been fun to hear when I have the official Solid Sound Playlist on shuffle. Looking forward to them. I took the playlist off at work since there’s a team doing a photo shoot and it started getting a little weird with some of the Horse Lords and Wednesday songs. I was digging it, but things were getting loud and polyrhythmic and I don’t know what level of art rock and experimentation these people are into. Maybe they’re pissed I turned it to the ‘70s Road Trip playlist. Maybe they’re like, “Make my ears bleed!” Maybe it’s just me.
Anyhow, utopias…true ones can only come from within anyway. And to me it’s not about achieving enlightenment or some sort of perfect level of constant happiness. It’s about getting to the point where you can stop and say, “Things are alright, aren’t they?” Great? Nah. The world is terrifying. There’s too much ugliness going on where I can think it can ever really be great. Never was. Never will be. But in spite of that, I think it’s okay if we can occasionally get to a spot where we can say, “I’m okay enough right now”. Besides, we’re no good to anyone if we’re in a constant state of panic and paralyzing despair. I’m of the Beatles suggestion that says, “you say you want a revolution…you better free your mind instead.”
Haha! I just got a compliment from the photographer about my “chill playlist”. Okay, I see where she stands on the chaotic, bleeding ears debate. That’s cool. ‘70s middle of the road rock wins again. I’m not too concerned. Soon I’ll be able to hang out with a bunch of other weirdos who appreciate atonal dissonant noise more than the average corporate 9-5er. No disrespect to this playlist. I’m into it. But at the same time, if I never have to hear “Give a Little Bit” by Supertramp ever again, I think I’ll be just fine.
But anyhow, that’s where I’m at. I’m ready for it. I’m ready for the music and the sensory stimulation that comes with being in a new place. I’m ready to see my friends. I’m ready for more Wilco…always.
What happens when you get to live out something you’ve always dreamed of? I’ll let you know soon enough. I’m just hoping to make it last as long as I can. Iris is right, nothing good does ever last. But I’d put an asterisk next to that statement and say that though this is true, be with the goodness with all of your might while you can.
That’s my story. That’s my hope. That’s all I’ve got to say for now. It’s almost time to go and I’m freaking out—in all ways. So until next time…
Utopia awaits.
Hope you enjoy the music and the trip, Andy. It sounds wonderful.